Technology

In recent weeks, since the departure of my friends from the Hilltop and their relocation to pockets all around the country, I have been thinking a lot about the role that these people, who I once saw every day, will continue to play in my life post-graduation. Naturally, technology has to be considered in any such conversation. We live in an age where technology is bringing us closer than ever (perhaps even too close!), but, in other senses, I would argue, is driving more of a wedge between us. Yes, the term "social media" does imply the ability of these communication outlets to connect people in terms of social networking, but it also, on another level, denotes a change in how we socialize with one another. I guess I would like to examine some of the technological tendencies I've noticed in my own life post-grad, and maybe come to a decision about whether or not these tools are a help, a hindrance, or something in between.

I guess a logical place to start would be Facebook, that global hegemon that has turned even the most cynical of social networkers into Facebook addicts. Phrases like "so-and-so friended me" and "I wrote on so-and-so's wall" and "oh, so-and-so is such a Facebook stalker" have invaded our daily discourse, for better or for worse. One can spend hours perusing the photos of a friend from preschool, a first crush, or, frighteningly enough, a grandparent, so one can look up at the clock and discover that one has been on Facebook for SEVERAL HOURS without even noticing it. One can look at an archive of the conversations between two people (Wall-to-Wall) and see when one's friends are online, giving Facebook almost Big Brother-like monitoring power. As far as my own case, I primarily used Facebook as a photo storage and posting outlet during college; don't get me wrong, I certainly communicated with people over Facebook, but my posting has skyrocketed since graduation, now that, still jobless, I have more free time. Despite my increasing frustration with the seemingly useless changes Facebook makes that render it less user-friendly, I have still turned into a summer Facebook drone. When I look at the people I communicate with over Facebook, it is a startling mix: while I do keep in touch with acquaintances past and present over Facebook, some of my relationships with family members are largely carried out there as well. The one saving grace is that, despite the fact that my closest friends and I do keep in touch over Facebook, we still do not hesitate to pick up the phone to call one another or make the effort to go visit one another. As long as Facebook doesn't completely depersonalize my relationships, I guess I'll keep using it...as if I could resist!

So I realize I was a little bit behind the curve on this one, but I got addicted to Gchat last semester. I love hearing the adorable little chirp when a new post has been added to the conversation thread (as opposed to the annoying clicking noise that Facebook chat makes), and the system rarely freaks out the way Facebook chat does. I like that Gchat is more selective; I only chat with my contacts, a.k.a. my close friends, so you don't get the sense that anyone could potentially start chatting with you, like you do on Facebook. However, I've said it before and I'll say it again, NONE OF THESE CHAT FEATURES OR SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES ARE ADEQUATE SUBSTITUTES FOR ACTUAL CONVERSATION, whether it's over the phone (NOT texting) or in person. Gchat, Facebook chat and the like are wonderful tools if you want to have a quick chat with someone, but to expect that to be a substitute for actual conversation is ludicrous. For example, I have one friend who I've been Gchatting with a lot recently about something that I've been really happy and excited about. I saw her in person this past weekend, and she said to me, "Ahhh, I get to see the smile as you say all of this!!!" Emotions just don't translate online, so obviously seeing me talk about this particular topic in person really drove the point home for her. But I feel like that is my main gripe with technology- so much is lost in translation, you lose so much of the authenticity of a conversation when it is carried out online. The one thing that comes close is Skype (or, I suppose, other video chat services), because you can actually see the other person's face, expressions and reactions, but still there is no substitute.

Texting. Maybe one of my problems with it is that, with my penchant for writing texts in the form of epically long novellas (all while shunning the use of T9), as opposed to quick phrases, and the fact that my friends with smartphones can type back so much faster than I can, I often feel flustered and exhausted from trying to keep up. It is often insurmountably difficult for me to resist the urge to just dial a person's number as opposed to texting them, but texting is just so much easier (particularly if you're constantly on the go). I've noticed a lot about myself in the context of social media, most notably, that I can be funny, confident, flirtatious, etc. when I'm texting or when I'm on one of these sites. TECHNOLOGY, IN THAT SENSE, IS THE NEW ALCOHOL: A SOCIAL LUBRICANT THAT ALLOWS PEOPLE TO ASSUME PERSONALITIES THAT ARE EXAGGERATED, OR EVEN COMPLETELY OPPOSITE, VERSIONS OF THEIR OWN. I am a generally shy person, and do not consider myself at all funny or flirtatious. So who is this funny, confident, flirtatious girl? I look back at the texts that my technology alter-ego sent, and I just shake my head in disbelief sometimes. Yes, I can certainly force myself to embody those traits in public, but when I try to think of the fundamental qualities that define me, those would not be the first on my list.

Another new phenomenon in the Information Age is the concept of TMI. Some people, with the advent of Twitter and Four Square, constantly post updates about what's going on in their lives (Twitter) and "check in" with a Google Maps-esque image of their exact location (Four Square). Obviously, I'm doing this blog, so I'm perhaps guilty of putting too much information online, but I think that, in the cases of those services, they shouldn't serve as substitutes for actually talking to your friends and family. Those people shouldn't have to follow you on Twitter or Four Square (or Facebook, for that matter) to figure out what is going on in your life. In general, there is just too much information. Those of you who know me well will laugh at me, but I'm going to quote a pearl of wisdom from Drew Barrymore's character in the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" that I believe captures my sentiments exactly. Mary (Barrymore's character), like so many of us, has so many accounts that it would make your head spin, and she muses to her coworkers at one point, "I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting." Trying to keep all of your profiles up-to-date and devote ample amounts of time to each of them (in addition to, oh, I don't know, REAL LIFE!) IS exhausting!!!!! But I feel like, starting with our generation, children will be getting accounts starting at ridiculously young ages. For example, I recently saw that someone had created a Facebook page for their baby, and it broke my heart a little bit. Gone are the simple days of our youth where we played outside and played pretend- now, kids will be talking on their smartphones and checking in on Four Square.

So how do we strike a balance? I have noticed, in my experience, that I am comfortable dabbling a little bit in each of these forms of technology, as long as there is still a good balance between "real" communication (phone and face-to-face conversations) and social media-type communication (texting, Facebook, Skype, Gchat, etc.). For example, in the case of someone I've been talking to a lot recently, we talk on the phone every 3 or 4 days, and text/Facebook chat the other days. It has worked out really well for us so far, and if either of us is ever feeling like we've been texting excessively, one of us will say, "I'd love to actually hear your voice!" and we'll talk on the phone. I think it's important to be able to recognize when you just need to chat over the phone, or get together to talk in person. Also, this is completely random, and you can call me crazy if you'd like, but I just want to throw this out there: I have recently been longing for the days when people wrote letters. Getting a letter in the mail is such a satisfying feeling, looking at the stationery the sender chose, observing the nuances of their handwriting, studying their writing style (which, I would argue, is more their writing style than that which they express over email or Facebook). There is a certain intimacy that you achieve by writing letters, so it's a shame that it seems to be a dying art.

My question for all of you is, what do you think about the role technology plays in our lives, more specifically in the context of the transition into post-grad life? If you are less of a recent college graduate than I am, how have you found technology helpful (and perhaps frustrating) in keeping in touch with college friends who may be continents away? Thank you to all of you who read this little technology rant, and I would be interested to hear what all of you think!!!