Communication Styles

Hello dear readers!  I apologize for my lack of blogging, but the past week or so has been one prolonged fire drill, so free time has been virtually nonexistent.  I will post later today on my weekend, but I wanted to talk about one issue that has been on my mind lately: communication.  I know that there are many communication styles, and no single one is necessarily the best, so I'll share my thoughts, and would love to hear yours as well about your personal communication styles, successes and failures.

I am the first to admit that I am very passive (but not passive aggressive!!! Passive aggression is such a pet peeve of mine that I try to avoid it at all costs!) when it comes to communication.  A huge piece of that is due to the fact that (not to toot my own horn), I try to be a thoughtful and giving person in my various relationships.  As a result, I tend to place the most importance on other people's happiness and well-being.  That is all well and good, but, so often, means that I neglect myself, invalidate my own feelings and don't necessarily insist on making my needs known. 

How does this selflessness manifest itself as a communication strategy in my daily life?  Well, even when things bother me, I tend to keep my feelings to myself rather than "rock the boat."  If something is trivial enough, it rolls right off my back and I move on with my life.  However, if something really upsets or bothers me, my tendency is to let those feelings fester, obsessing over whatever is bothering me to the point where I get absolutely hysterical and have to discuss it out of fear for my mental and physical well-being.  I justify that strategy to myself by reminding myself that I tend to react very emotionally to certain situations, so I tell myself that I should organize my thoughts and wait until I can talk about the issue somewhat more objectively rather than simply be reactionary.  Not healthy, right?  This is what happens when you are so concerned with ensuring that other people are taken care of that you don't make your needs known.  I would not recommend it!  Torturing yourself is no fun!

Ideally, my communication strategy would involve being more up-front with another person about my feelings, because, the earlier I confront an issue, the less urgently I would need to unload what I am feeling.  Nipping those feelings in the bud and confronting them in the moment, rather than letting them fester, is something I am working on, as is being okay with being a little bit more selfish and insisting on getting what I need and deserve out of life. 

I would love to hear from you, especially from those of you who might be more skilled at confronting issues in a timely manner than I am.  Teach me your ways!!!